Once I saw a wild orange lily
Raised by nature and poor nurture
From a distance, I saw clearly
She was afraid you would hurt her
Across the field, and safe alone
Still she shimmered and waved hello
Single as the vast ocean depths
and fractioned into many parts
Please be careful and watch your step
Don't drag trawl nets through her heart
That precious glance I surely caught
The impact on me I've not forgot
Barren but bold she took her stance
Only found along the borders
Those petals and waves always danced
Sights like this made poets hoarders
Rising from Winter's striking cold
Her wage with war has gone untold
Every Spring, I pay a visit
In worn, beaten, depressive thought
Desolate hue pierces eyes and soul
I take heart as hope takes my lot
Alas, one day I will not return
His company will have caused adjourn
And I will smile at this remembrance.
Yell if you have to, but stay silent if you can
Undisclosed thought will ruin their plans
They will scoff and laugh at the things you don't say
But onward you'll move as their breath wastes away
Yell if you have to, but what's the use?
They care not about your feelings and will call it abuse
Steward your emotion; don't give pearls to swine
They'll pour a cup of poison and serve it as wine
Yell if you have to, but I advise at least whisper
Second to silence is a soft spoken figure
When you speak, for at times you must
To yell will only stir up the dust
I sit across the floor from him. The devil.
Or her? I don’t know. She was everything I wanted him to be. But I resist his friendship and suppress her lust.
My eyes are so heavy. I shake my head and blink hard in attempt to wake my senses again for another 10 seconds. God I want to sleep. No, I want eternal rest.
I know if I close my eyes she will crawl over to me. He looks tired too, but confident.
This is a game of chess, no pieces.
We just sit here staring at one another. All day. All night. Anticipating one another’s next move.
Sometimes she stands up and paces his side of the room in fits of whispers, screams, and laughter. Every once in a while he stops and smiles at me. I can’t see anything but her teeth and maybe a shimmer of light reflecting off his dilated black eyes.
I stay down here with my back against the wall and feet sprawled out. Sometimes she’ll kick my foot or spit at me, but I wait down here in silent prayer and groaning.
Scholar’s Mate? Sometimes I muster a laugh at his cheap moves on me, but I must not get cocky and my thoughts cannot go numb for that is when she would insnare me and put me in his griping chokehold.
I woke up in this room one day and have never left since. There are no doors but one small rectangle like opening near the ceiling to let light in.
I’ve lost count of the days but I’m somewhere in my twenties, though my spirit feels ancient.
I don’t know how this ends or how I die, but I hope to leave this room hearing the words “well done.”
Escaping to the woods to rebalance and grieve what I had lost, I encountered a strange realm. I went for a hike in the broad daylight. Yet, in the back of my head, I felt afraid. Of what? There was nothing around. Literally no one and no thing. Not even the birds sang. And, perhaps that was it. Even the birds were too afraid to sing. Something, or some things, were lurking. I wasn't alone. I felt I was being watched.
I camped in my car, but closed the back hatch for fear of what was around me. I wasn't afraid of any human or even an animal. But I tell you, something- no, some things - were around me. I felt it. I was a guest in this forest. I was being judged. The breeze among the trees distinctly wondered why I was there and what I was doing. I wasn't quite afraid, but I surely felt this debate around me.
While I slept, I felt my car being surrounded by things. I ignored it- literally. I knew they were there, but I trusted heavenly forces to protect me before I left. Nonetheless, 6AM arrives, and I needed it to- I was ready to leave. I did not feel welcomed.
I was laying on my side checking my phone for all of the zero messages that had arrived when I heard distinctive footsteps coming from the window behind my back.
I had never moved so quickly to get dressed and start my car. My windows were fogged from my own breath and I was terrified to turn my car headlights on for fear of what I might see.
I realized then, I was intruding on the Black Forest.
So, I left. Immediately- My windows still fogged and I, without pants or shoes on.
like, right when you’ve had just the right amount of liquor. not too much though. just relaxed. nostalgic. reflective. dancing on the borders of happy and melancholy.
it’s still. quiet. and lovely.
you look at the sky and watch the clouds pass as you stay still and think of the ones you loved.
and the one that loved you.
life is beautiful and just a moment long.
and then, you let go, and just close your eyes. and go to sleep. forever. amen.
The woman with a broken heart decided to plant some flowers. All around her house. Everywhere. It was her own hopeful outcry. It was good for her until it felt lonely, and it did feel lonely, surrounded by all those flowers dancing under the sunlight that didn’t even know her name.
“Why does no one come to visit my flowers up close?”
They griped about weeds, but said nothing when there was flowers.
She decided to plant flowers outside her window sill; maybe that would grab their attention. Moreover, it gave her an excuse to lean out the window as she pampered and watered her flowers. No one would question her.
Everyday her flowers multiplied in quantity. They became brighter and danced harder in the breeze as she leaned further and further out the window.
Until she fell.
They never noticed her flowers, but her dead body that had fallen from three stories high.
1. Your job becomes the most miserable thing you’ve ever done
Especially if you work a routine, mundane job- like a 9-5. When you know a place like this exists, it makes handing food out of a window or being stuck in an office with minimal sunlight a new version of hell on earth.
2. Your eyes will be opened to an overwhelming amount of diversity and living
Watching the sunset isn’t just “pretty” anymore. You’ll think about how you journeyed, went there and made it back. You’ll think about what’s important to you. You'll wonder about earth, all the stars, and the order of creation and weep as the sun sets on your day and rises on someone else, perhaps a place where you once were.
3. You will make a best friend, and/or meet a potential love, that is now far away
Refer back to the previous point. You’ll think about these people often, especially when your side of earth turns its back on the sun. It's sad and beautiful all at once.
4. The percentage of those who you can relate to will drop dramatically
This also makes it hard to date. Your interests and thoughts become broad, while those who are untraveled are within boundaries (though, not all the time). Your ideas become brighter and more extraordinary as your worry over minuscule things diminish.
5. You’re constantly thinking about ways you can travel and make a respectable living at the same time
This is where you appear to be aloof and introverted all time- your mind is elsewhere than the beige enclosed room with no windows you’re sitting in. Meanwhile, your peers, who drank the local koolaid, discuss the only things they know of over and over again to a point where there is no more benefit or bettering of oneself in that particular subject.
Summary: If you don’t travel, you will be content with where you are, better at your job, average, and potentially more successful in finding love.
Ignorance is bliss and knowledge is wonderfully heartbreaking.
Pick your poison.